Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Holiday Donations (and a Little Bit of Guilt)

It is that time of year again when I try too keep extra change in my coat pockets. I am going to the grocery store and I subconsciously predict there will be someone at the entrance, braving the cold, to ring a bell standing next to a red container.
As I approach the building I hear the familiar sound even before I see who rings it. I am grateful that I am able to toss coins in the bucket and I have a decision to make. Do I do that before I enter the store or after?
The bell ringer looks at me as I draw near. There are no words or smiles coming my way. I carry a perception of judgement from a person I don’t even know as to whether I will walk right past or not. In a split second I say, “I will stop on way out.”
The decision has been made. I conclude that by donating before my shopping the person may not remember I already gave and I might be another faceless person who seems not to care.
Walking up and down the aisles my attention is focused on crossing items off the shopping list as they are dropped into the shopping cart.
After paying the cashier I push my cart filled with groceries towards the exit. I again hear the sound of the bell. I put my hand in my pocket feeling for the coins to be thrown into the bucket. This time smiles and words are exchanged. I walk toward my car feeling a slight sense of approval.
I realize the only approval I was really seeking was my own. Next time I will pitch my offering in the bucket before entering the store. I care about donating and my sense of peace within could come before or after I did my shopping.

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